[ale] Computer chicken jokes

[Steven A DuChene]

Sorry if some of you at first don't feel this is relevent but read it
first before making final judgement.

-- 
Steve DuChene              sad at hpuerca.atl.hp.com               1-800-633-3600

	       The HP North American Response Center, Atlanta
		  X/CDE/Vue/xterminal/graphics support team
    		    I am an employee of Hewlett-Packard.

    HOW DOES A CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
    
    NT Chicken:
    Will cross the road in June. No, August. September for sure.
    
    OS/2 Chicken:
    It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet
    that nobody noticed.
    
    Win 95 Chicken:
    You see different colored feathers while it crosses, but cook
    it and it still tastes like ... chicken.
    
    Microsoft Chicken (TM):
    It's already on both sides of the road. And it just bought the
    road.
    
    OOP Chicken:
    It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.
    
    Assembler Chicken:
    First it builds the road ...
    
    C Chicken:
    It crosses the road without looking both ways.
    
    C++ Chicken:
    The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd simply refer
    to it on the other side.
    
    VB Chicken:
    USHighways!TheRoad.cross (aChicken)

    Delphi Chicken:
    The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other
    side.
    
    Java Chicken:
    If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the server will
    download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets)
    
    Web Chicken:
    Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.
    
    Gopher Chicken:
    Tried to run, but got flattened by the Web chicken.
    
    Newton Chicken:
    Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it
    across the road in your pocket !
    
    Cray Chicken:
    Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it
    in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fully
    cooked.

    Quantum Logic Chicken:
    The chicken is distributed probabilistically on all sides of the
    road until you observe it on the side of your course.
    
    Lotus Chicken:
    Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do !
    
    Mac Chicken:
    No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the
    road, so there's no way to tell it to.
    
    COBOL Chicken:
    0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
    IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES THEN
    PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
    VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
    ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
    ELSE
    GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING
  
    HP Chicken:
    In order to cross the road, the hpChicken must first be enhanced
    with the PHRR_12345 hpChicken Roadcrossing Courage Point Patch, 
    this is neccessary because the primary behavioral functioning 
    paradigm (BFP) of hpChicken is to be: Chicken.
    For a description of BFP, the Farm Animal Family product,
    and hpChicken subproduct, and usage and limitations see HpChicken(1).