[ale] Never log onto your satellite as root

[Jeff Lightner]

Funny.  
It makes me want to change my title from Systems "Administrator" to
something else though.  :-(

-----Original Message-----
From: ale-bounces at ale.org [mailto:ale-bounces at ale.org] On Behalf Of
To: ale at ale.org
James P. Kinney III
Sent: Wednesday, April 18, 2007 11:11 AM
To: Atlanta Linux Enthusiasts
Subject: Re: [ale] Never log onto your satellite as root

My absolute, all time favorite "official" joke:


                    New chemical Element Discovered
                          by William DeBuvitz
        This bit of humor was written in April 1988 and appeared in the
        January 1989 issue of The Physics Teacher. William DeBuvitz is a
        physics professor at Middlesex County College in Edison, New
        Jersey (USA). He retired in June of 2000.
The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by
investigators at a major U.S. research university. The element,
tentatively named administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus
has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have one neutron, 125
assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons and 111 assistant vice neutrons,
which gives it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held
together by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like
particles called morons.

Since it has no electrons, administratium is inert. However, it can be
detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact
with. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of administratium
causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would
have normally occurred in less than a second.

Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at
which time it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in
which assistant neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant vice neutrons
exchange places. Some studies have shown that the atomic mass actually
increases after each reorganization.

Research at other laboratories indicates that administratium occurs
naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points
such as government agencies, large corporations, and universities. It
can usually be found in the newest, best appointed, and best maintained
buildings.

Scientists point out that administratium is known to be toxic at any
level of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reaction
where it is allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to determine
how administratium can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but
results to date are not promising.

On Wed, 2007-04-18 at 08:41 -0400, Jeff Lightner wrote:
> That reminds me of the old official looking memo from years ago.   It
> said something like:
> 
> From: Payroll
> To:  All Employees
> Subject:  New Tax
> 
> The Government has added a new tax to cover the cost of processing all
> the other taxes.   Effective immediately this tax will be deducted
from
> each paycheck.  In the event the amount of the new tax in combination
> with the existing taxes exceeds the amount of your pay you will be
> billed for the difference.
> 
> Have a nice day.
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: ale-bounces at ale.org [mailto:ale-bounces at ale.org] On Behalf Of
> James P. Kinney III
> Sent: Wednesday, April 18, 2007 7:23 AM
> To: Atlanta Linux Enthusiasts
> Subject: Re: [ale] Never log onto your satellite as root
> 
> On Wed, 2007-04-18 at 05:18 -0400, Chris Ness wrote:
> > On Monday 16 April 2007 14:54, Bob Toxen wrote:
> > > Btw, under Linux with lots of time (like a week) and fsdb, one can
> > 
> > > Bob Toxen
> > > Be sure to file your taxes by tomorrow so your government will
have
> the
> > > money to follow your wishes.
> > >
> > I wish it wouldn't spend all my money.
> 
> There's a 100% tax bracket now?
> > 
-- 
James P. Kinney III          
CEO & Director of Engineering 
Local Net Solutions,LLC        
770-493-8244                    
http://www.localnetsolutions.com

GPG ID: 829C6CA7 James P. Kinney III (M.S. Physics)
<jkinney at localnetsolutions.com>
Fingerprint = 3C9E 6366 54FC A3FE BA4D 0659 6190 ADC3 829C 6CA7