[ale] FW: HUMOR: Bill's Furniture

[John M. Mills]

Light filler from Monday's mail, c/o the m.mills/s.reese folklore feed:
  
  Justice is served...?
  
  >> Bill, the foreman and the furniture....
  >> Now that Bill Gates is moving into his new house the following is a
  >> conversation heard last week.
  >> 
  >> =====
  >> 
  >> Bill: "There are a few issues we need to discuss."
  >> 
  >> Contractor: "Ah, you have our basic support option. Calls are free
  >> for the first 90 days and $75 a call thereafter. Okay?"
  >> 
  >> Bill: "Uh, yeah... the first issue is the living room. We think its
  >> a little smaller than we anticipated."
  >> 
  >> Contractor: "Yeah. Some compromises were made to have it out by the
  >> release date."
  >> 
  >> Bill: "We won't be able to fit all our furniture in there."
  >> 
  >> Contractor: "Well, you have two options. You can purchase a new,
  >> larger living room; or you can use a Stacker."
  >> 
  >> Bill: "Stacker?"
  >> 
  >> Contractor: "Yeah, it allows you to fit twice as much furniture into
  >> the room. By stacking it, of course, you put the entertainment centre
  >> on the couch... the chairs on the table... etc. You leave an empty
  >> spot, so when you want to use some furniture you can unstack what you
  >> need and then put it back when you're done."
  >> 
  >> Bill: "Uh... I dunno... issue two. The second issue is the light
  >> fixtures. The bulbs we brought with us from our old home won't fit.
  >> The threads run the wrong way."
  >> 
  >> Contractor: "Oh! That's easy. Those bulbs aren't plug and play.
  >> You'll have to upgrade to the new bulbs."
  >> 
  >> Bill: "And the electrical outlets? The holes are round, not
  >> rectangular. How do I fix that?"
  >> 
  >> Contractor: "Just uninstall and reinstall the electrical system."
  >> 
  >> Bill: "You're kidding!?"
  >> 
  >> Contractor: "Nope. Its the only way."
  >> 
  >> Bill: "<sigh> Well... I have one last problem. Sometimes, when I
  >> have guests over, someone will flush the toilet and it won't stop.
  >> The water pressure drops so low that the showers don't work."
  >> 
  >> Contractor: "That's a resource leakage problem. One fixture is
  >> failing to terminate and is hogging the resources preventing access
  >> from other fixtures."
  >> 
  >> Bill: "And how do I fix that?"
  >> 
  >> Contractor: "Well, after each flush, you all need to exit the house,
  >> turn off the water at the street, turn it back on, reenter the house
  >> and then you can get back to work."
  >> 
  >> Bill: "That's the last straw. What kind of product are you selling
  >> me?"
  >> 
  >> Contractor: "Hey, if you don't like it nobody made you buy it."
  >> 
  >> Bill: "And when will this be fixed?"
  >> 
  >> Contractor: "Oh, in your next house -- which will be ready to release
  >> sometime near the end of next year. Actually it was due out this
  >> year, but we've had some delays..."
 

 John M. Mills, Senior Research Engineer   --   john.m.mills at gtri.gatech.edu
    Georgia Tech Research Institute, Georgia Tech, Atlanta, GA 30332-0834
          Phone contacts: 404.894.0151 (voice), 404.894.6285 (FAX)
      "Planned Parenthood" may be the most hilarious phrase in English.