[ale] [OT] Humor:Recommendation

[James P. Kinney III]

Actual letter of resignation from an employee at Zantex Computers, USA, 
to her boss, who apparently resigned very soon afterwards!
 
 Dear Mr.Baker,
 
 As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few 
very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct
superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground
squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my
co-workers and myself during the commission of our duties, I can
only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our
time.

Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of
everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not
only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen.
    
I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you
were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other
employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of 
"cut and paste" for the hundredth time.

You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple
as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never
understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it
to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as
telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality
than you ever will.
    
You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault
in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may
have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have
responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover
for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the
blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad
proof of the Dilbert principle. Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change
without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender
my resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts.
    
1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal
    for you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say
    to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends
    randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you
    honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.
    
2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I
    know every password you have used for the last five years.
    If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites
    list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your
    useless files.
    I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed
    favorably by the administration.
    
3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your
    Mother' s birthday", you neglected to mention that you were going
    to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to
    erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have
    never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those
    have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter
    of recommendation.
    (Try to use a spell check please, I hate having to correct your mistakes.)
    
Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation
on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all
of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the
public. Never f*** with your systems administrator. Why?
Because they know what you do with all that free time!
    

Wishing you a grand and glorious day.
    
Cecelia
    

-- 
James P. Kinney III          \Changing the mobile computing world/
CEO & Director of Engineering \          one Linux user         /
Local Net Solutions,LLC        \           at a time.          /
770-493-8244                    \.___________________________./
http://www.localnetsolutions.com

GPG ID: 829C6CA7 James P. Kinney III (M.S. Physics)
<jkinney at localnetsolutions.com
Fingerprint = 3C9E 6366 54FC A3FE BA4D 0659 6190 ADC3 829C 6CA7
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