[ale] Y2K Joke

Mon Feb 1 15:35:00 EST 1999

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No offense intended or implied, but you have to admit ... the humour is prime
... ;o)
  ------------------------------------------------------------------------

The year 2000 dilemma is solved.

This memo is to announce the development of a new software system.

We are currently building a data center that will contain all firm data  that is
Year 2000 compliant. The program is referred to as the "Millennia Year
Application Software System" (MYASS).

Next Monday at 9:00 there will be a meeting in which I will show MYASS  to
everyone. We will continue to hold demonstrations throughout the  month  so that
all employees will have an opportunity to get a good look at  MYASS.

As for the status of the implementation of the program, I have not addressed the
networking aspects so currently only one person at a time can use MYASS. This
restriction will be removed after MYASS expands.

Several people are using the program already and have come to depend on it. Just
this morning I walked into a subordinate's office and was not surprised to find
that he had his nose buried in MYASS. I've noticed that some of the less
technical  personnel are somewhat afraid of MYASS.

Just last week, when asked to enter some information into the program, I had a
secretary say to me "I'm a little nervous, I've never put anything in MYASS
before." I volunteered to help her through her first time and when  we were
through she admitted that it was relatively painless and she was  actually
looking forward to doing it again. She went so far as to say that after using
SAP and Oracle, she was ready to kiss MYASS.

I know there are concerns over the virus that was found in MYASS upon  initial
installation, but I am pleased to say the virus has been eliminated and we were
able to save MYASS. In the future, however, protection will be required prior to
entering MYASS.

We planned this database to encompass all information associated with the
business. So as you begin using the program, feel free to put anything  you want
into MYASS. As MYASS grows larger, we envision a time when it  will  be
commonplace to walk by an office and see a manager hand a paper to an  employee
and say "Here, stick this in MYASS."

This program has already demonstrated great benefit to the company during recent
OSHA and EPA audits. After requesting certain historical  data the  agency
representatives were amazed at how quickly we provided the  information. When
asked how the numbers could be retrieved so rapidly our Environmental Manager
proudly stated "Simple, I just pulled them out of  MYASS."

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<html>
No offense intended or implied, but you have to admit ... the humour is
prime ... ;o)
 
<hr WIDTH="100%">
The year 2000 dilemma is solved.
This memo is to announce the development of a new software system.
We are currently building a data center that will contain all firm data 
that is Year 2000 compliant. The program is referred to as the "Millennia
Year Application Software System" (MYASS).
Next Monday at 9:00 there will be a meeting in which I will show MYASS 
to everyone. We will continue to hold demonstrations throughout the 
month so that all employees will have an opportunity to get a good
look at MYASS.
As for the status of the implementation of the program, I have not addressed
the networking aspects so currently only one person at a time can use MYASS.
This restriction will be removed after MYASS expands.
Several people are using the program already and have come to depend
on it. Just this morning I walked into a subordinate's office and was not
surprised to find that he had his nose buried in MYASS. I've noticed that
some of the less technical personnel are somewhat afraid of MYASS.
Just last week, when asked to enter some information into the program,
I had a secretary say to me "I'm a little nervous, I've never put anything
in MYASS before." I volunteered to help her through her first time and
when we were through she admitted that it was relatively painless
and she was actually looking forward to doing it again. She went
so far as to say that after using
 SAP and Oracle, she was ready to kiss MYASS.
I know there are concerns over the virus that was found in MYASS upon 
initial installation, but I am pleased to say the virus has been eliminated
and we were able to save MYASS. In the future, however, protection will
be required prior to entering MYASS.
We planned this database to encompass all information associated with
the business. So as you begin using the program, feel free to put anything 
you want into MYASS. As MYASS grows larger, we envision a time when it 
will be commonplace to walk by an office and see a manager hand a
paper to an employee and say "Here, stick this in MYASS."
This program has already demonstrated great benefit to the company during
recent OSHA and EPA audits. After requesting certain historical data
the agency representatives were amazed at how quickly we provided
the information. When asked how the numbers could be retrieved so
rapidly our Environmental Manager proudly stated "Simple, I just pulled
them out of MYASS."
 </html>

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